The wind blows in every direction DAILY DIARY by illustrious

The wind blows in every direction by illustrious

INTRO

To give you a little back ground, my book ‘The wind blows in every direction” is basically my testimony, in life, what I’ve been thru, my struggles, my learning experiences and my FAITH. The title speak for itself, It means how god at times was sending me blessings in every direction, and most of the times I was at a point in my life when I  had NO faith, which cause me to miss my greatest blessings. This poem here basically speaks for itself, it’s a poetic version of my trials in life,

I’ve been thru trials and tribulations

I’ve been thru them dark holes in rough situations

At times I wish my heart would sleep with painless constipation

Hoping to run into that damn light, with no fucking hesitation

But my pride kept me up, and my god was my strength

Personally I’m saved, just by being a lil bit diligent

Acknowledging him at all times, like splash where did my problems went

He came thru at all-time, like splash, Where did my problems went?

I’ve been thru my paychecks, after rent im left with one cent

Digging deep holes in my purse and only finding one mint

I’ve been thru times, of just day dreaming all day

Of better times that it should be just better than yesterday

I mailed my prayers last Friday

He sent my blessings on Sunday

And told me on Monday

To keep my head up

That he will guide my way thru out the week day

I’ve been thru times of many loss

I lost my best friend and my estranged pops

Al though I barely knew him but that unconditional love could never stop

I’ve been thru times of backstabbing friends

Even been thru a phase of unfaithful men

I even been betrayed by my next to kin

And still I overcame that, god been

Told me that I could win

I’ve been thru times broke down of the side of the road

I’ve been thru times admitting that I have a heavy load

Its too much to handle and all my sheets are very soaked

And thought the only one who listens was the words in my notes

I’ve been thru times just hating this bull shit ass life

I’ve been thru times of dreaming of this never ending strife

Then I took one look at my son and he gave me one smile

Realizing that he’s my blessings all a while

I’ve been thru trials and trials again

I even made those backstabbing friends my friends again

I even tried to change the minds of those unfaithful men

Only to learn that my god is my realist friend

I’ve been thru times when I thought I just could smoke my problems away just like the morning noon mist

Rollover the next morning still haven’t to deal with the same shit

Started to lose my patience, started to think the my prayers was being considered only as a wish

But then he came thru again

And again

And again,,,, just by me being a tad bit diligent

Written by illustrious 09

Chapter1

I truly believe that people has the power to control the directions in their lives. Its in the matter of trusting your gut feelings and following your heart. Besides your heart never will tell you a lie unless you don’t pay as close attention to it. You’ll think it’s a lie but the only thing , is that you’ll be in a state of misunderstanding yourself. I’m 25 and I’m glad that I was able to conceive the world most precious creatures, which is life, but I was able to manifest conceiving wisdom that is short sighted by 75% of human life on earth, and the remaining 25%, as well as myself , came to an understanding that “Life is what you make it, So make the best of it.” I have no doubt in thinking all that can be scrutinized by your imagination is impossible. If you can imagine it, its POSSIBLE! 

                I remember my earliest recollection empathizing water. I never knew what it meant, but I was obsessed with it. I had to be less than five, I use to enjoy the bubble baths that my mom made, and let me play in, before she bathe me. I use to float with my head above the water in the tub. Sometimes I use to wet the tips in my ponytail and my mama would get upset at me afterwards. I didn’t care, because I enjoyed my time in the water. It was always soothing to me. For some reason, im still unable to drop that habit. There was a time, when I was about 11, I got caught lying to my mother telling her there was no early release in school, instead I went to the pool. I was never a swimmer. As much I love the water, I never allowed my head to go under. I loved that feeling, but I was also afraid of it.. Weird huh.

               

                Everybody experience times in their lives, where, the occasions just never leave Misery front porch, which make them wana give up, and say forget it. I remember a time, actually the first time, my whole life changed when I conceived “THE WORLD” my son. It was through bad times, where I would let my weaknesses leak over a man, another soul. You see I didn’t have my higher power then. If I had at least ten of my mistakes would have been impeccable. I remember the time when I just escaped an unhealthy relationship I felt contended. I haven’t felt that way in years. I was beginning to move on with my life. Not knowing that I was with child. My whole world scattered. The truth was hurting me, So I started telling myself lies that I couldn’t move on, with child. All alone. With nothing to offer. The minute the truth stabbed me, I knew god had a purpose for me a that time in my life, where I had to make a change.