Wipe Out Short Fiction by: Nancy Silfort

Wipe Out

                My name is Raquel Samuels. I’ve been working as a Forensic Homicide Detective for the past five years for Dade County Police Department. During my time working here, I’ve seen a lot of unbearable cases. The good thing about it is that I was able to be blessed with a lot of strength and courage to do the job that I do. As a mother of one, I never really like my job, I was just always infatuated with the people who became a part of it, that made me love it.
It was a Tuesday afternoon, one of my days off, I was at the nearby “TOTS 2 LOVE”, DAYCARE just starring at an empty playground, watching the wind blow the lonely swings back and forth. I wasn’t too far from it, but I could still hear the swings squeaking at every motion as if a little invisible child was present. I tried to understand why my previous case, involving a little four year old Caucasian girl, that was snatched from that nearby daycare about four days ago, body was dropped off a day after, and was later determined that she was raped and strangled to death with an automobile fan belt around her neck. We haven’t caught the animal that did this to her, but I was determined to do so myself, I didn’t know how, but, deep inside I know I will. I had a picture of her that was given to me by her mother the day she ended up missing. She had the brightest blue eyes, with curly hair that was kept up in a ponytail. She had a perfect little smile that pierced my soul, just by looking at her school picture. It hurt me deep inside to see a little girl who haven’t made to grade school yet, then to have her life just taken away, so suddenly, it seems as if she was wiped off of the face of this earth, wiped out from her mothers eyes, her mothers life. The Daycare has been closed for the whole week, in honoring little Amy Robbins, I figured most of the parents would of gone elsewhere due to the recent incident that happened there. I know I would of. It hit me hard when I place myself in those parents shoes, who live life on a day to day basis and all of a sudden their little child doesn’t get to come home, ever again. Man, I couldn’t imagine myself with out Nate, that’s my son, he means the world to me. God forbid, but if someone dare to take him away from me, I’ll go crazy. I quickly wiped out that thought from my mind, as a mother, I couldn’t bear to think that way.
                A call came in from one of my colleague from the Dade County Homicide Unit, Dexter, I almost didn’t answer. I did anyways because he would always call me when I’m not in the office and give me updates of what was going on. “What’s up D?” I said, trying to sound all perked up. For some reason Dexter always knew what I was up to. “What you doing?, you busy?” “Naw, why, what’s going on?” I said while clearing up my throat.
“Why you sounding all sad?” I figured he asked me that, since my voice was all waspy, deeply grieving for an innocent child that I didn’t even knew. “I hope you aint at no crime scene again, I’m telling you , keep taking your job home just gonna make you go crazy. That’s why you’re suppose to leave your job at work.” Those words just echoed in my head, over and over again. “D” knew me inside out. Sometimes when I don’t even answer my phone while working on a case, he’ll be the one to know exactly where to find me. He always found me wandering around at some crime scene investigation somewhere, he use to call me weird. “D” knew my obsession, but I don’t think he ever understood it. I never understood it. “So what you got planned for tonight?” “Nothing “D“, why,, you got something in mind?”
“I was about to ask you if you aint doing nothing tonight, if you aint busy, you can meet me at the new “Poetry Lounge” that they just opened downtown, so what you say about that?”, maybe you can recite one of your poems that I heard before. Look, you’re good,, and you need to put your stuff out there.”
“I don’t know, I mean I’ll go there with you to check it out, but I aint gonna be the one on stage, at least let me see what type of crowd be out there.”
“Ok, well doors open at nine, so are you gonna meet me there?”
“I’ll just meet you at your place at 8:30, guess we could ride there together.”
“Alright, I’ll see you later.”
                “I’ll hit you up when I’m on my way, talk to you later D.” I was already on my way to my car. I called my baby daddy to see how my son was doing. He had my son for the week. Guess he was trying to build a relationship with his son. He barely came around. If it was up to me, I would of cut him off my son life for good, for all the broken promises he made to Nate. With Nate, he always had a sympathetic heart. I would say pathetic. I use to hate at the times when Nate would come crying to me, asking why daddy lied about taking him to the park or bowling as he promised. Nate use to say, “mommy why daddy lied to me, mommy?, may be he’s busy working, mommy.” I always told Nate , that what ever daddy told him was always a lie. No matter what I said, he always looked at me, as if I was the one lying. Nate was with his daddy for a week in the summer. They were supposed to be at Busch Gardens with his daddy four other kids since Saturday. I called about 3 times and no answer. I left a message on the last call I made, hoping to get a call right back. On the way home I decided to stop by a local Mc Donald’s, and realized that I didn’t eat nothing the whole day. That little girl was still on my mind.
                My phone alarm went off, when I realized that I over slept. Plus, I had 2 missed calls from “D”. “Dang, its 8:35p.m.” I started running around my room, tossing clothes and shoes around, panicking. I was able to take a bath and get ready in twenty minutes. I managed to leave my house at 8:57. “D” had already called me 3 more times. While on the road I decide to call him back for the first time, to apologize for being late .
“Hey “D”, my bad for being late, I’m on my way.”
“Where you at?, I called you a million times. You’re sure you’re still going?”
“Yeah, “I’m still coming, as a matter of fact I’m on 37th ave off of 196th making a left.”
“A ‘right, I’m in the car waiting, I was about to leave right before you called.”
“I’m coming “D”, just give me two minutes.”
                I could tell the way “D” hung up the phone, he sounded a little upset. I started spraying on my Chanel No. 5 on, throwing on some lip-gloss and fixing my hair. By the time I made it there, “D” was in his car smooching with some girl on the phone. Time read 9:05p.m, when I stepped outside my car. Not too bad, was what I thought to myself, “D” will be alright. The whole ride there, “D” was on the phone still ‘macking’. When we pulled up to the parking lot, the line was real long. “D” told me that his homey worked the front door,, so he’ll let us walk right in. We sure did walk right in, eyes was on us like we was the local celebrities, I would say we was, some people recognized us from the job that we did from seeing our faces at Press Conferences on the local TV news station working on cases as usual. As a matter of fact, personally I never took the attention seriously, I only did, when ever a case was solved. D got us a table for two with stool chairs 3 rows away from the stage. The show had already started, we wasn’t sitting for too long before we ordered our drinks. I had a cup of Baileys, while “D” had a shot of Petron. I was feeling the place, the scenery had an earth tone, mahogany type of style to it, they even had a band, the people that were there look like regulars, like ecstatic people that smile when they catch you looking at them, that wasn’t usual from where I’m from. I immediately became comfortable. It was a man on stage that caught my attention with his poetry, he called himself “Majesty”. I know I was a little tipsy, but the shit he was spitting was real. His words, just made me sink down in my chair . This guy was so fine, he was dark-skinned, with a brush cut, he wore glasses with broad shoulders looking like an intelligent gansta. “D” was trying to get at this waitress, he didn’t catch me going thru my hot flashes for “Majesty”. Every body always say that me and “D” hang out like we’re a couple. We never made move on each other, from the start ,we always chilled like a brother and a sister would. The waitress came to my ear and asked if “D” was my man, she probably thought D was disrespecting me, I laugh it off and told her that D’s my brother, she smiled and pull out a paper with her number out of her fake boobs, and gave it to “D” and walked away smiling. For the next four hours, me and “D” sat there and watch poets, males, females and even butches come and go across the stage, spitting rhymes and speaking their minds. As we began to leave I told “D” that I had a good time. “D” looked delighted to hear me say that. He started telling me that it be popping like this only on Tuesday nights. On our way to the parking lot, we walked pass a couple of prostitutes that was in the streets working. I watched “D” to see if he was going to holla at them. One of the girls grabbed “D” hand and touched on his chest. “D” wasn’t that dumb after all. He pulled away looking disgusted and made his way to the car. On the way home, we stopped at this 24hr Seafood Restaurant. I told D I was tired, so we decided to leave right after we ate. When I got home, I realized that I had a voicemail from Nate, telling me that they was at the theme park having fun earlier, that’s why they missed my call. Nate sounded happy, it was too late to call back, I told myself that I’ll just call him in the morning.
                It was time to get up and get ready for work. I starred at the clock for 5 minutes, procrastinating to get up. The sun was peaking out by 7:02 am, by the time I headed out to work, the morning fog was just clearing up. On my way there, I called Nate to see how he was doing. “Hey, booby,, mommy miss you.” I said sounding excited.
“I miss you too mommy.” Nate just kept carrying on about his time in Orlando. I asked if he was ready to go home, he told me not yet. Nate always trips me out, its like he have a personality of a 25 year old man trapped in a 5 year old body, Nate blew me a kiss goodbye right before we hanged up, and I blew one back. I made it to work fast, good thing I was able to dodge traffic. Work seemed usual, the case with little Amy Robbins, has been the only case that I’ve been working on since last week. Although we haven’t had any leads to who her potential killer may be, I was determined to continue to work on her case. It was 2 pm, after lunch time, a call came in from “D”. He was telling me how a new case came in, in Lil Haiti. All he said was that I needed to make it there quick to collect all the evidence that was available.
                Thursday, June 25th 2:42 pm, Zubi Supermarket, back alley. Lil Haiti City
                13 year old, African-American Female, found in a dumpster. D.O.A
                                As I pulled up to the location, police was already swarmed around, with yellow tape barricading the dumpster. I don’t know why, but I felt a cold energy that caused shivers to roll up and down my spine. I wasn’t scared, just inquisitive. As I walked up, I slipped the top button from my shirt off, to breathe a little better, I slipped up my Prada shades and slapped on a pair of rubber gloves. A strong stench was coming from the dumpster, there where flies and maggots everywhere. When I looked at the body I could tell that she have been there for more than 72 hours. I gently placed my SICAR 6 KIT right next to the dumpster to check for any possible footprints, the dirt was all scattered as if some one tried to cover their path, but I was able to conceal a pair of size 10 ½ shoe print that had AirForce1 stamped on it, I mold it and kept it as a evidence. I examined the body, and continued to take pictures. I took a moment to realize that this little girl was Tamara Henderson that was reported missing 3 weeks ago, by her grandmother on news, since she never made it home from school on a Friday night. Her eyes was still open as if she watched herself suffered through her killer eyes. I notice that she had an automobile fan belt tied around her neck, I could tell that she died of asphyxiation because of the inflamed edges of her skin was hugging the rubbery auto fan belt. That gave me flashbacks of my previous case that I’m working on. The same type of car belt was on this victim tied up the same exact way. That was an unusual weapon that I’ve seen before. I ask one of my colleague to see if they had anymore information on this victim. While police sirens was still on, I could hear an older woman with a waspy voice crying over it, and hollering “Not my Tamara,,, Not my baby Tamara.” I realize that she was the grandmother that was on news lately, pleading for her grandbaby to come home safe.
“Have she identify the body already?” I asked Det. Jenkins, one of my colleagues .
“Yes, she did, and she been hysterical ever since.”
“Who called?” I asked while jotting down notes in my pad, gathering evidential information.
“There was an unknown caller that called 911 from a payphone that was traced right down the street. He gave us information of where the body was at, but left no information about himself. All we know is that it was a man, good thing the call was recorded, an here’s the copy.”
                I just starred at the old woman still grieving alone with no one there to comfort her. My heart went out to her, I couldn’t imagine her hurt and pain, how she will no longer be able to hug her granddaughter again, she will no longer watch her granddaughter walk in through the front door from school anymore. I couldn’t bear to speak with her due to the hurtful state that she was in, so I sent Mellissa one of my interns to get more info from her. After I examined the body, about two hours later, I approved the coroners to take the body to the morgue for further investigation. As they placed her stiff body in the body bag, her hand slipped out towards me as if she was asking for me to follow. I quickly erased that thought out of my head, thinking that I was starting to go crazy. I headed back to the office, and all through my mind was the type of car belt that was tied around Tamara’s neck. I knew that there had to be a link to my previous case. At the office, two other Detectives that was at the scene told me that they had no leads, and no type of suspicious information. No one knew anything or heard anything. I started to think to myself, what if that was the truth, what if the only person who knew anything was the killer. It was a hour pass my time to end my shift, I was still in the office putting stuff together for my new case. Plus I had to go to the Forensic lab, to check up on what Valerie, one of Dade County Top Medical Examiner, had came up with , in addition to the examination. Valerie did mention that during the Ninhydrin Test, it came back positive as someone else body secretions other than the victim. She also determined that there were male semen residue dried up on Tamara’s clothing , which concluded that she has also been raped, repeatedly. As well as the scrapings from her finger nails which showed that she died struggling with clumps of someone else’s skin and oil scum. Again, my confusing thoughts kicked in. “Oil, Car Belt, Amy Robbins, Tamara Henderson.” There was a connection somewhere, I knew there was, it had to be. I immediately asked Valerie to pull up Amy Robbins files, and we realize that she had the same exact bruises, both died of Vegal Inhabitation and the same exact weapon was used. Valerie immediately did a Acid Phosphates Test, and told me that the results will determine if the DNA from the two homicide victims matched, but we had to wait a couple of days for the results. I sure didn’t mind, actually I did mind, I couldn’t wait that long to find out the outcomes. It was 10:22 pm, Valerie and I decided to call it a night, after we were done meeting up the Homicide Team to further investigate in finding any leads on who the killer may be. As I was wiping off the board and straightening the mini classroom, pieces of evidence from both homicide cases kept flashing in my head. I was extremely exhausted. On my way home, I called Nate to tell him goodnight, I was surprised that he was still up, he told me that he was watching “The Incredibles” movie. Nate even told me that I sounded real tired, what he didn’t know was that I needed to sleep, dreadfully.
                Three weeks had gone by, and still I haven’t heard or gotten any leads for the past two murders that I’ve been working on. Just like my faith on the Acid Phosphates Test it sure did come up a match, but still no suspect. I attended both funerals that was about a week apart. I promised both families that the case will remain open until the mysteries have been solved, and at the same time, some parts of me wanted to tell them, to wipe off their tears and move on with life because I was becoming awfully drain and frustrated.
                I had to leave work a little bit early today to get Nate from school, and ‘D‘ had just fax over some screenshot pictures from the Zubi Supermarket, back alley, street cameras, I was in a hurry to leave work, so I just told him to fax them over so I can look over them this weekend. Its 4:00’clock and my cell phone started ranging, I grabbed the papers from my fax machine, flipped my phone on  and locked the door as I walked out of the office . It was Friday and Nate just kept reminding me the promise that I made, to take him to the Water Theme Park in Carol City on Saturday. I took Nate shopping at Wal-Mart to get toys, goggles and floats for tomorrow, and I needed some brown slippers to go with my brown Baby Phat bathing suite. Our morning started off good, Nate and I woke up real early as usual as we do on a Saturday, we just lounged around the house  and watch Sponge Bob on TV after we ate breakfast. The Water Park was open at noon, I decided to leave a little bit after 1p.m.The park was so huge, it was actually Nate and I very first time there. They had high water slides, different size pool decks, and kids just running all over the place and they even had little tables and beach chairs set up everywhere. Nate and I found a cool spot that had a semi umbrella tent over it, I like it because as dark as I am, I needed a place with shade. Nate quickly ran off to the kiddies pool, while I relax with my Prada shades and baby oil on. We stayed there practically the whole day. I tried to make sure we enjoy every minute of it, until I pulled out the faxed pictures that “D“ sent me from Tamara Henderson’s crime  scene. I seen pics of a rusty blue corvette with a tall man with a hooded jacket, standing  next to the back alley trash bin, I couldn’t tell if the man was black or white,  I could tell by the time of the pics, he had to been sitting there for about 20 minutes or so, the last pic look like he was holding something over his shoulders, in which I am guessing that it had to be Tamara Henderson‘s body. I studied the picture , I studied the man, and the car that wasn’t in it, I quickly shoved the pictures back in my duffle bag, when Nate came running to tell me, that he was ready to go home. After we left, I stopped by a local Exxon gas station since my car gas signal started to flicker. When I pulled up, I can see in my rear view mirror, a tall bright skinned man starring. I pulled off my shades to get a better look and discovered that he was the most handsome man I’ve seen in while. He was still starring, I started to scramble thru my car to kill some time to calm down, since I was getting a little too elated. “Come on, Nate lets go inside.” I said enthusiastically. Nate didn’t too much care for what was going on, he made sure he confirmed to buy him some Reese’s, which was his favorite candy bar. The handsome man made it to my car wiping his hands with an old dingy rag filled up with oil and asked me if he could pump my gas, I could tell that he work at the repair shop that was next to the gas station, by how dirty the gray dickie jump suit that read Craig on the left front pocket, was. Little did he know, I sure didn’t mind him pumping my gas, if you knew what I mean. Like an arrogant bitch, I told him, No Thank You, and kept a straight face. Knowing deep inside that I wanted him to work on plan B, but he didn’t. Instead, he backed off, I pumped my gas, placed Nate in the car and drove off. I observed him in my rear view mirror, leaning against a shiny navy blue corvette, while watching him wave at me as I drove off. I smiled and went on my merry way.
                It has been a couple of months, and still no suspects. I’ve been at work, working on some minor cases lately, and meeting up with Reporters and giving them updates on the two unsolved murder cases . They were the two major homicide cases that made headline news every day for the last two months. I made sure that I kept in touch with Amy and Tamara’s family. Amy’s mom completely lost it, and was still agonized for her baby girl. Tamara’s grandmother always invited me and Nate to church on Sundays, and afterwards she would prepare dinner at her home for me, Nate and her family. I really enjoy my time being with her, watching how she maintained her pride after the death of her only granddaughter, that made me admire her more. I remember at church during praying time, she would pray to have her granddaughter case solved. The hair on my back would rise up, and I would start praying alongside with her, even though I couldn’t feel the same pain as a grandmother but I sure was grieving with her for her lost .
                My home girl Shavonna came down from New York to spend Labor Day weekend with Nate and I. The three of us was at our local Publix Supermarket shopping for some food to BBQ in my back yard later that evening. While at the register checking out, I seen the same fine dude that I seen a while back at the gas station. Shavonna caught me starring , I played it off and looked the other way. While at the car loading, buddy came and stepped up to me and ask me for my name. I gave him my real name, “Raquel”, and gave him my number. He had a crazy look in his face and told me that not too many beautiful women as I am have that name. He told me his name was Lamar, 34 years old and no kids. In the back of my mind, I was wondering why he didn’t have any kids because he was real handsome, to me that was 100 points added on already. We kept the conversation short since I had some raw meat in my car. Lamar mention the day at the gas station, he said he thought that I was stuck up since I didn’t give him any feed back when he was trying to get my attention, I smiled and apologized, and promise to give him a call whenever I get a chance. After he left, Shavonna told me that she didn’t like him, he seem too thuggish for me, I brushed her off and waved goodbye, to fine ass Lamar as he got in his shiny, drop top, blue corvette, while we pulled  off the parking lot. I figured Shavonna was hating , so I kept the conversation short about Lamar, I wanted to tell her that I ran across him a while back but I caught myself, because I didn’t want to hear her mouth. We had a ball at our BBQ that we set up. All of our friends, cousins, and people we didn’t even know came and show support. Of course I didn’t care, because every body else was chilling, vibing and having a great time.
                Lamar and I went 3 weeks talking on the phone all night, every night talking about everything, every subject, and even politics, before we even went out on our very first date. Lamar had a personality like a gentleman, unlike most of the ignorant guys I came across, he knew how to hold a conversation. Lamar seemed financially stabled. He told me that he owned the Car Repair shop that was next to the g  as station where I first seen him at months ago. We started spending a lot of times together, even at work I called him every chance I get. I became physically, sexually and mentally attracted to Lamar. On weekends we would hang out at the park with Nate in the day time, and run through the sandy beaches at night. Lamar showered me and Nate with gifts, he would bring lunch to me at work, which was something that I wasn’t use to, something that I dint mind getting use to. After some months went by, Lamar and I dated frequently, but we never talked about making it official. After a while, I began to wonder about Lamar’s past. Through out all the conversations that we had, Lamar never mention anything about his past relationships, or like where he was from. There was one time when I question him on what is his last name, he sounded a little bit hesitant on that. I’ve always known how to tell when a person is lying, he told me his last name was Brunson and repeated it like he was really sure. That particular conversation bothered me, but I left it alone.
                It was my birthday, I drop Nate off at my little cousin house, because Lamar and I planned all week to celebrate my birthday at our local Houston Restaurant. He told me to wear the Dolce & Gabana strapless black dress that he bought me, and to meet him out there. For the last several months, everything that Lamar did for me just swept me off my feet. I was loving every single moment of it. When I walked in the restaurant, I gave them my name and the hostess showed me my seat, and told me that Trevor would be here in a minute. The seat was decorated with Red Roses all over the table, with a Champaign bottle in a bucket of ice and two glasses. Lamar knew that I love roses, there was a birthday card in the table with my name on it, but the name Trevor triggered me.
“Excuse me Ma’am, I’m sorry did you say Trevor?” I said sounding all confused, looking around and hoping that she placed me in the wrong seat.
“Yes, Trevor, Trevor Jenkins, and you said your name Is Raquel Samuels right?” She glance at her note pad and smile back at me, of course I wasn’t smiling.
“Yes, Ma’am, I’m Raquel Samuels”. I left it at that and said nothing more to the hostess as she walked away. A few minutes went by, I still had a puzzled look on my face, then Lamar walked in smiling with a gray and blue linen suit on, with the matching shoes, swaying to the side, holding a bouquet of dark red roses and a gift box. His charming ways didn’t have any affect on me right now, I had a feeling that something had to be up, because he always knew how to charm his way out of curious questions that I’ve always bugged him about. A nigga could do anything to me, but CHEAT and LIE. Those two were always my biggest pet peeves. Something had to be up, and I had to let it out.
“Hey Baby, Happy Birthday.” he said looking at me. I wanted to flip out and question him, but I remained silent. “What’s wrong baby, is everything alright?, you look gorgeous today, I told you that you have some beautiful curves.” he handed me the bouquet of roses, while he tried to sneak an intimate hug at the same time, I pulled away, he seen that I didn’t reached for the roses and then ferociously placed them on the table. He gave me that crazy bitch look and played it off when the hostess came by smiling.
“Trevor Jenkins, nice to see you, what would you and your lovely lady will be having today?” she said, then Lamar looked at her, then at me, and told her to come back since we haven’t figure out what we wanted to order.
“ I’ m ready to order.” I said, sounded irritated ordering the first thing on the menu, even though I knew I wasn’t going to eat it.
“And Trevor Jenkins, what will you be having today? I said as Lamar looked at me, as if his whole world just crashed. Then he had the nerve to try to play it off, by asking me, why in the hell I was tripping. I cant believe he said that, any real woman in their right mind would trip if their nigga that like very much gave her an alias.
“Who’s Trevor Jenkins?” I said, with my arms crossed requesting an explanation right away. “Where did that come from, Lamar Brunson, Trevor Jenkins what ever the fuck you want to be called?” Lamar didn’t answer me right away, The hostess realized that there was unpleasant fusion between us and requested to come back in a few. Lamar had a baffled look on his face and remained reserved. I knew that I couldn’t sit there any longer and listen to any lies that he was planning to tell me. I got up and left. Lamar didn’t bother to stop me. Thoughts just kept running thru my head, while I was trying to figure out, why in the hell he would give me a different name, and not chase me down to give me a good ass explanation, although I couldn’t think of any myself. By the time I made it home, I looked at my phone and realized that Lamar hadn’t even call me. Trevor Jenkins has been ringing in my head that whole time. I couldn’t understand why Lamar would have something to hide from me, after all this time that I took to allow him to know me and my son. Something told me to pull up Trevor Jenkins, so I grab my laptop and started to do some researching, in the State of Florida Criminal Data Base, Nothing. After a while, I pulled up the name Trevor Jenkins in the United States Criminal Data Base Files, I sure wasn’t ready for the information that was revealed to me. His picture pulled up, look like a very old picture of him, that had at least 4 aliases including Lamar Brunson, it listed all the tattoos that I knew Lamar had on his forearm, also revealing that he was wanted in 3 states, for multiple Drug charges in Cincinnati Ohio, two homicide cases in Detroit Michigan that he was in question for, and Child Molesting in Baltimore Maryland, last seen driving a Blue Corvette. “A Blue Corvette!”, know that I‘ve been seeing around lately, Lamar had a Blue Corvette that he barely came around with. “Aint that a bitch!”. It sort of felt like my head was about to explode, knowing that I’ve been fucking with a convict that I didn’t even knew it. I practically spent the whole night on my laptop. I started pulling up old news articles of charges that were made against Lamar. There was a little girl that was killed five years ago in Detroit that was a kin to his 3rd ex wife, and that Lamar was wanted in question for. As I kept on reading, I realized that one of the little girl’s died of asphyxiation with a car fan belt around her neck, just as the two previous cases that remained unsolved earlier this year. As my heart pounded excessively, I knew that there had to be a connection somewhere, and Lamar had to be linked to those cases, I quickly emailed all the info to myself so I could do further research once I come in to the office on tomorrow. I became overwhelmed after some odd hours pulling up info on the real Lamar, or should I say Trevor Jenkins.
                My phone kept buzzing off, I realize that I fell asleep on my couch, with my laptop still on Lamar’s picture. I woke up, grabbed my phone, and seen that I had 4 missed calls from Lamar. I quickly closed my phone, and started thinking, what other lies he had to tell me, a small part of me, wanted to believe him, and figure that all this time I was the crazy one. I placed my laptop on the floor, so I can get up to grab something to eat before I jump in the shower and head out to the police station. I was overwhelmed with the information that I pulled up online last night, while stretching, I pulled my hair out of frustration. That wasn’t really the type of birthday gift that I wished for, In a way I did, because I still had two cases that might be closed, while the man that I’m falling in love with might be the suspect, according to all my evidence. My flesh started running thru me like anesthesia, I could feel my whole body quickly freeze up and go numb. I knew on Monday I had two cases to close up, from the little bit of evidences that I discovered was enough for me to work on to lock Lamar up, I had no doubt that he played a major part. I kind of felt disgusted to know that I knew that fuck nigga Lamar would do the shit that he did. When I walked in the kitchen to grab a bagel, Lamar was sitting at the kitchen table with a lifeless look on his face. I tried to figure out what the fuck Lamar was doing in my kitchen and how the fuck did he get in, my immediate reaction was to run out my front door and haul ass.
“ I wouldn’t do that if I was you, I wouldn’t fucking do that if I was you Raquel.” Lamar said as his voice grew more evil and hoarse. By the time I made it to the front door, Lamar had already raced right behind me and placed a pistol right in the middle of my back. “Look Lamar, we can talk this this out, we can work this out.” I said hoping that I can change his mind from pulling the trigger, or beating my ass with the pistol. Lamar said nothing and pushed me face forward on the couch, he still had my arms crossed on my back with a tight grip, I twist and squirm around and still I couldn’t let loose. Lamar then snatched the cord from my house phone out the wall and tied me up with it.
“Lamar baby you’re scaring me, why are you doing this?”, I said begging for my life. The laptop flipped over and Lamar seen his picture, at that moment I froze and thought to myself that it was over, I had no idea of what his next move will be. I could see the blank look on his face that turn devilish within seconds.
“What the fuck you been doing Raquel? What the fuck is this, what the fuck is this, Bitch?” Lamar said while shoving the laptop on my face. “Look baby, last night at the restaurant, you, you”, I started crying because I was scared for my life, I couldn’t even get a word out. Lamar took the laptop and threw it against the wall and broke it in half.
“I came here to explain everything to you, but I see that as of right now, there’s no need to do so.” I could hear it in his voice that he wanted to cry, his eyes grew bigger and watery but no tears came out. I sat there helpless, weeping and praying to myself. Lamar then took the pistol and ran across my face, he was close enough for me to smell alcohol in his breathe. I starred at him, and realize, why in the hell I didn’t figure him out before, then I started thinking, I wouldn’t have been able to tell anyways, because nigga was crazy, a different person that I never knew.
“If I didn’t fall in love with you Raquel, I would kill you. What you think, should I kill you or let you live?, Answer me bitch,,,,, should I kill you or let you live?” I said nothing, while Lamar became more angry, “don’t you think so Raquel?” At that time I squatted down on the floor, crying and pleading to help him, begging for him to let me go. I told him that if he let me loose, I can just forget about this and not mention this to no one.
“You think I’m suppose to trust you, Bitch, what, you think I’m stupid.” Lamar took the gun and slapped me with it, blood started gushing everywhere, I could feel the left side of my face swell up in the matter of seconds. The pain was so excruciating I couldn’t help it, but to cry for mercy. Lamar seen that I was in pain, and showed a little sympathy, by wiping the blood from my eyes, apologizing and kissing me. From that moment on, I knew that I was dealing with a psycho path, he had to have Bipolar Disorder or something. One minute he’ll show remorse and the next he’ll pistol whip the shit out of me over and over again. This went on for about the whole day, I swear that I wasn’t able to last any longer. The whole time I kept quiet while Lamar cried his whole life story to me, he would scream and ask me questions, then he would mock my voice and answer his own self. I sat there in pain and watched Lamar go in and out of his psycho path phases, I starred him down and realize that I was starring at a lost soul. Lamar went on and on about his life story, he told me how his mother was always high on crack and use to use him as a sex slave, which caused him to be powerless, with his horrendous sex urges that he claim he had no control over. Lamar confessed to getting caught in molesting his third wife five year old niece, he told me an urge came over him and she wouldn’t cooperate so he had to kill her. The way he describe the killings showed me that he had no feelings at all, this nigga was all fucked up in the head and to me he didn’t deserve to be in jail, if it was up to me, I would give him death, of course at that time I was only able to think about it, I was helpless. I sat there listening to his confessions hoping that I was able to make it out of there alive and to use it against him, in the back of my mind, I started to think that maybe I wouldn’t make it out alive.
As time went by, I became weary and hungry. By that time Lamar had done trashed my place, I was still tied up and my wrist was swollen from the cord being tied tight around it. Lamar took my briefcase and threw I across the living room, Tamara Henderson picture fell faced up, Lamar attention quickly went to her picture, with no type of contrite expression on his face.
“She was a good one, Raquel,,,,, but I had to let her go to paradise”. The pain from the pistol whipping suddenly went sensation less, while trying to figure out what the fuck Lamar was trying to say. I sat there motionless in silent and watch Lamar sink down to his knees picking up the photographs of Tamara. By that time Lamar had done squat down on the floor with his back towards me. That’s when I looked at the bottom of his shoes and notice the same size 10 ½ Air Force one shoes that I molded from Tamara’s Crime scene. My heart started pounding as if my chest was about to burst open, knowing that I had the missing link right underneath my nose, that I’ve been looking to unravel so badly for the last eight months, but I was helpless to do anything about it. I was his victim!
“Lamar, what you mean she was a good one, what are you talking about?”, my plan was to get in his head and convince him that I was here to help him. Lamar sat there and gave me a blank stare that was scarring the shit out if me.
“Lamar, Baby, what are you talking about, who are you talking about?”. Although I knew that I seen Lamar holding Tamara’s picture, I played it off. Lamar started crying hysterically, I can see the little boy look in his face when he -cornered himself near my coffee table, with is head between his knees and the pistol in is hands, crying and laughing. He showed no pity, he then took the picture and crumbled it up.
“Oh well, there’s some things in life, you just can’t undo.” Lamar got up and roamed around my house as if he was becoming more frantic by looking out of the window. My cell phone started ringing, by the type of ring tone that I had, I knew it was D. I had a feeling that D would’ve came over after he hadn’t hear from me all day. The place was trashed up, while Lamar tried looking for my phone to see who was trying to call. I knew exactly where it was at and kept silent, while he went crazy looking for it.
The night came by, and the morning sun was peeking through my blinds. I sat there with dried up blood all over me. I didn’t sleep. Although I wanted to close my eyes and wake up from my nightmare. Reality hit, when I realize that I was in my victims shoes. It wasn’t a place I wanted to be in. I began to pray quietly, asking god to forgive me for all the wrongs that I did in my life, begging him for mercy, as well as for my son sake.
“What you think that God is going to save you right now,, Bitch?” I guess I was so deep in praying, I didn’t think that he would hear me, but he did.
“You really think that God is real, if he is Raquel, I wouldn’t be like this, I wouldn’t live like this.” I watch Lamar bang his head on the wall, screaming at me. “If he’s real, I wanna prove it, I wanna prove it, lets see if he’s gonna let you live”. Lamar was less than two steps away from me, with his index finger on the trigger. I watched him, slow motion, and begged him for my life. Lamar was crying with the pistol in one hand still pointing at me, and wiping off snot from his nose with his other, while he stood over me.
“Bang!”
It happened so fast, although I seen it coming. My whole body collapse over Lamar’s feet, I knew I was shot but I was traumatized all over to realize where I’ve been shot at, there was ringing in my ears from the gun shot noise. Flashes from last week, flashes from the first time I met Lamar, flashes of the two murder cases that I’ve been working on, flashes from my BBQ party that I threw on Labor Day, Flashes from the Blue Corvette, that I’ve been seeing lately and flashes from giving birth to Nate, played over and over again before my eyes, in the matter of seconds. I felt my heart beat slow down, as if I was being smothered. I watch Lamar drop down next to me, telling me that he didn’t mean it, and begging me to stay. Lamar had me in his arms rocking me, and consoling me with one hand, and the other hand clutching the pistol, caressing it through my hair. I couldn’t scream, as blood filled my throat and my eyelids grew heavier with in the matter of seconds. I became motionless, while starring thru Lamar’s pensive eyes. My last breath was a little prayer for Nate.
TO BE CONTINUED,,,,,,,,,,,

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